The Art and Mystery of Attraction (Thoughts)

The phenomenon of attraction is one that continues to confound my senses and my rationality. Often I am faced with two very opposing views on attraction and how it works. On one end I am faced with a common belief that attraction is a game in which an individual plays the other persons senses and ideals. It is less about being attractive and more on unveiling what the other person finds attractive and than projecting those traits. Wether or not you truly possess them is inconsequential to the game. The other side of that coin is that of luck. It is important to be yourself and at some point someone will find you attractive. In essence it is playing a game of statistics in which there is a belief that with enough numbers one will find success. 

In my experience between the two paths, and by experience I refer not to my actions but by the analysis of others, both actions are successful but in different ways. The game perspective is undoubtedly successful for those that understand the rules and know how to play. They understand how to get quantity and are able to successfully attain what they "wish." Wish is in quotation marks for a reason. Wish is to signify that those that "play" have two wishes though only verbalize one explicitly. The first wish is a short term goal. That goal is to experience physical intimacy. That can occur in many different forms which is not wholly important. The second goal is emotional intimacy. I feel the two terms speak for themselves. It appears that those who seek physical intimacy as a first step and wish to follow with emotional intimacy are less likely to experience the latter. I am not saying this is always the case. It is clear my observations are limited. 

The second method is different. It is one in which the "wishes" are in many respects reversed. Emotional intimacy is the foremost goal followed by physical intimacy. The ones that have the reversed goals play a game of numbers. They do not play people but perhaps set themselves up to be played . Their ideals are more utopian and hopeful. Although they are more likely to experience great emotional turmoil, they are also more likely to experience deeper meaningful relationships, ones we would refer to as "love." In this case though it takes two individual to bring about such a relationship. Both parties are in-tune to the necessity of emotional intimacy. The fear though is that method two is susceptible to method one. Method one colliding with method two is able to succeed but only if method one was lucky enough that its true qualities coincided with method two. Otherwise failure is greater and more likely. 

Either method will bring about different versions of success. Method one doesn't deny the user its 2nd wisher, it only minimizes the chances. Method two increases the chance of emotional intimacy but makes physical intimacy harder to attain. Both are capable of attaining either wish, just with different likelihood. Sadly the above is just my personal analysis and observation on a basic scale. In the end true long lasting attractions are still based on luck. One is faced with the choices of long term verses short term plans. Some would even argue that the choice is intrinsic to the individuals personality type and skills and that choice may have nothing to do with it. I can't say. In the end the mystery of attraction is one that still plagues us today and perhaps that is for the better. Mystery adds so much to our life, and although it can bring pain and frustration it also brings wonder and questions. Perhaps the pain is a small price to pay for the joys of discovery.