This afternoon I walked home from work taking a well worn path I used to trek during my early adolescence. For those that are well versed in the geography of the Crowsnest Pass there is a path that is situated behind the Cinnamon Bear, down the road which leads to Bush Town. I used to walk that path almost twice a day to see my then Girlfriend Sage. That summer, and later on through that year, I came to a sexual and intellectual awakening, learning much about myself and who I wished to be and who I was. I was caught within the grips of young love and youthful confusion. The simplicity of my life at that point still appeared unseeingly complicated filled with treacherous paths and possibilities. I was scared but characteristically bold wishing to embark on a journey of self discovery. I was unaware of the doomed reality of my love and the difficulties I was about to face as I decided to move to calgary with my meagre possessions in tow and a small financial goose egg I had been able to squirrel away during my first foray into the work force.
I was caught in a love intwined within economic class warfare. We where blind of it of course. I lived at the top of the hill among the upper class contingent while she was down below among the hard working but downtrodden world of the poor, and yet we converged, caught in an embrace as right as it was odd. Our convergence taught us about the many human qualities we where able to share within silence, the beating of two hearts that worked under the same rhythm, our blood as intwined as our arms and legs. In time we would grow apart as much through geography as through emotion. Our class distinctions became more apparent over time and we would see our convergence become a divergence, an undeniable separation of lives. It seemed unimportant who would cut the final tie for the rope of our affection was already strained. We would fall apart as our rope is severed, each falling in different directions never to see each other again, never to share a thought.
It is hard to believe how I have grown since those years. Now I am closer to a man than a boy and I have met and lost many in my life. Some have left of their own accord and some I have let go myself, wishing to be lightened from their burden. Other friendships and relationships have grown stronger, acting as stabilizing pillars on which I depend. I have also met new people who have bolstered the foundation of my social well-being allowing me to become a better person by showing my virtues and uncovering my flaws. Yet the summer of adolescence stays with me. As I walked along the physical path of my early awakening I perceived youth much like sage and myself; youth trying to find themselves in a quagmire of echoed lives. I am reminded that my own path is well worn and shall be continuously walked until humanity ceases to exist.
I wish I could tell her story, not just my own, but that is not an option, but perhaps someone else will tell her side of the story through another life that parallels what Sage and I experienced those handful of years ago. Two young lovers walking down the path behind the Cinnamon Bear trying to understanding while never knowing what they where trying to understand in the first place.
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