Sunday, 9 November 2014

A Conversation (part 4)

“Am I worth it?” As with any question tinged with desperation a vague sense of sadness envelopes the listener.
  
“Do you want to be worth it?”
  
“That feels like a trick question.”
  
“I think it is a fair question. Do you want to be worth it?”
  
“Are you asking me if I want to be or does my answer speak to what I actually believe? So if I say I want to be worth it than clearly I think I am worth it and vis versa.”
  
“I think you are over thinking. Do you want to be worth it?”
  
“Yeah, I want to be worth it, or at least worth something.”
  
“those are two different things, to be worth it and to be worth something.”
  
“Yeah but they are dependent you know? I gotta be worth something to be worth it you know? Everyone has a different level of what they think is worth it, what one person values isn’t valued the same by a different person but both people will agree it has value of some sort. It than becomes a numbers game, if I am of value than I will be worth it to someone.”
  
“Well I think it’s obvious you are of some value.”
  
“You say that with such conviction. I don’t have such conviction”
  
“You are a human being, you have value.”
  
“Don’t you think that is a little arrogant”
  
“What is?”
  
“That assumption.”
  
“What assumption?”
  
“That by being human I have value. Why do you assume that if something is human, or better yet alive, that it has value. That to me is absurd. Why can’t something that is either human or alive be valueless?”
 
 “Because that is what I choose to believe.”
  
“I’m glad you are honest about it.” There was a long pause of silence. “Do you think you are worth something?”
  
“Why do you feel like asking me that?”
  
“I’m curious on your thoughts, I'm sorta tired of hearing my own.”  

“Well we already discussed my assumptions, so yes, I am worth something.”
 
 “Do you think you are worth it”
  
“I thinks so, people have decided I am, and by your explanation that would mean I am.”
  
“I suppose so eh.”
  
“Do you think you are worth something?”
  
“Yeah I think I am.”
  
“Why the change of thought?”
  
“Honestly?”
  
“I would very much enjoy you being honest with me. I think it makes our lives easier if we are honest with each other.”
  
“I’m scared of what it would mean if I wasn’t.”
   

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