The Place I call Home (A Poem)

The Place I call Home 

Neon glow of a street lamp reflecting on the damp pavement 

Cars driving by late at night breaking the silent restless air 

Clicking heels exasperating the emptiness and darkness

Windows lit by dull florescent bulbs hanging aimlessly 

This is where I call home and this is where I find my life 

dawn hints on the horizon a future date filled with hopes 

Only to be regained by the grips of dusk once again 

The cold rain falls upon the faces of sinned and sinner

Transgressions meaning little to ridged and stoned lives 

The paint peeling off age worn walls covered in scratches 

Sparse furniture dotting a glowing coffin of an apartment

Cold wooden floors covered in splintered ragged flaws 

They seem to symbolize my simplistically docile existence   

Loud appliances initiate a space of sound among shy reality 

Humming angrily as if to protest the squalor that permeates

Each corner a home for shadows and other vague concepts 

A dripping sink adding rhythm among a patternless orchestra 

Raise ones head and you can see the spotted stains above 

telling a story willing to evoke bitter and mirthless laughter  

Cracks spidering across an endless sea of greying white paint

Reminiscent of the worn and aged skin of a toiling farmer 

The window glares as light slowly scatters through stained glass

Images of cultists taking their lives within such light reels  

Slightly blurred images and a rocking unsteady camcorder

Catching the final moments of mentally deranged beings 

The moon shines mercilessly upon the reflective street below 

Its not that I think I can escape the reality I have set upon 

Its all about perspective and deeply intwined imagination 

Within a shadowy and ghostly place I still call my home 

  

  

     

Words (Thoughts)

The power and the meaninglessness of words perfectly epitomizes the contradictory nature of all human constructs. I attempt to use my knowledge and artistic sensibilities to build a structure of words which can convey abstract ideals into concrete creations within you. I have a friend who is struggling with internal and external misfortunes and I try desperately to use my words to help ease her struggle. The poor truth of geography we share has forced me to hold unto the power of my words to affect her life in a positive manner ya bish? But no, she doesn't understand for the power I am trying to convey through the wonders of a shrinking and continuously globalized world lies within herself and not within myself. I am attempting to pro-ject words that bring forth great emotions within me to repeat the feat within her, I am attempting to universalize a subjective truth through the hope of convincing her that her subjective truth is also my own, such minimizing and retracting the power of our individuality.

There is undoubtedly overlap that will occur. The power of art is its ability to burrow deep within its receiver, unearthing great truths that we had not realized existed. At the moment I am listening to a piece by Kendrick Lamar called Money Trees, a song that takes a hard and constructive look at the gang banging culture that exists within L.A. and other major North American metropolises, truths that occur because of racist economics and "the weight of history"; the term has just procured a few chuckles from myself, the context for which is completely subjective and plagiaristic in nature. What I am trying to say is that I am a white middle class male who by the very essence of his birthing was given a life in which I am free of all the turmoil that a black North American man such as kendrick has faced. Yet, despite the vast chasm between our social, economic, and racial differences I can relate to him. I can take in the power of his words and find a deep seeded emotion which we both share and I am able to let the flow of his ebonic lyrics flow through my soul and conscious mind. We share a basic humanity and a basic language (to an extent).

So I hope, beg, and perhaps pray that the power that kendrick has with words can also be the power I have with words, that I am able to dig deep within the mind and feelings of my friend(s) with the words I am unleashing through the unsubstantiated energies of my mind, fingers, and the social media we have all been dissolved within; that I am able to connect rather than redirect, that I am able to convey rather than refrain and that I am gifted enough to define rather than remind the realities we hold inside ourselves.

 

Vegetating (A Poem)

Vegetating

A pair of too high to fuck lovers 

Caught in the review mirror 

Star crossed and mind warped 

To the visual sensation of imagination 

Immobilized by societies expectations

Vegetating, basement infused existence

spider in the corner seemingly dazed   

Room illuminated by neon television glow 

"go fuck yourself" resonates within paper walls

Slamming doors, carbon escaping click snap

resounding feet ring poignantly to muttering 

"Asshole" screamed to deaf ears just below

A pair of too high to fuck lovers 

Caught in the review mirror 

Star crossed and mind warped 

To the visual sensation of imagination 

Flashing images invoking minimal response 

Sound receiving no attention of the mind 

Eyes filmed over, absent of emotional regret

"Fuck boy, get off that fucking couch, you shit!" 

A pair of too high to fuck lovers 

Caught in the review mirror 

Star crossed and mind warped 

To the visual sensation of imagination 

Untitled #2 (A Poem)

Untitled # 2

Home alone, no where to go 

surrounded by, I don't even know 

I can't help think, I will fade 

enjoyment of life, oddly frayed 

I like to read, bout coming of age 

It reminds me, I turn the page 

if I fail, I'll survive my cage 

I'll glance to my gas gauge 

my car will run out of gas 

 between god, going to mass 

 the feeling of human beings 

I hate sensation, always fleeing 

how scary can death really be 

when you live, without seeing 

people you love, those that weep 

 your soul, not meant to keep

walk on down, the city streets 

find a coin, a couple of seats 

it won't take long, before you find 

everything ends, before your time  

that funny show and that great cd 

filled with scenes on that fav dvd 

I pack my bags to go to the bar 

I find her with another pair of arms 

Its funny, we love organic things 

we want something we can cling 

a way to kill time, before it kills us 

a way of saying, that life is a fuss 

So here I am, alone and sad 

 tragic ideas, life can go bad 

 I realized that it was a dream 

living within popular themes 

I existed inside another play 

a work of Shakespearean dismay 

 inside a mans simple mind 

its funny how I can't control rewind  

Seducing Sleep (A Poem)

Seducing Sleep 

Time slows down, if for a moment

I now know what you had meant

(When you said take me)

Locked inside our loving embrace 

Focused only on one another

(Eyes widen with movement)  

Each breath rasps in perfect unison

Each muscle works for one intent 

Our souls intwine our bodies 

We become joined in those minutes

Forgetting that the world exists 

(My point becomes your eyes)

Our skin seems to melts to become one

Our souls seem to morph into our love

(I need you as much as you need me) 

It all ends in a climatic understanding

Time stops and then moves faster

(Our energy seeps away with the night)

We will never be able to turn back

The connection has been created

(Its time to rest and let sleep seduce) 

Ode To That Beyond Beauty (A Poem)

Ode To That Beyond Beauty

The beautiful

I ask this of thee

What shall you get as time passes?

I will kneel to you in our youthful intrigue

but I expect a bow in our ancient reprieve

For as things change so will you

Your beauty will pass quickly 

along with your arrogance brought by birth

For though you flash in exquisite fashion 

My elegant words remain undeniably immortal 

As the erosion of time wears you down 

I shall be sculpted by the weathered winds of wisdom 

for you beauty will never bring respect nor validation

Your beauty shall never endow you with status

your allure shall bring you lust, till age morphs desire into contempt 

When your time has passed you will die yearning the past

Unable to look at yourself through the eyes of the old

I though, shall age with weathered eyes full of passion

I will gain that which shall never be yours

be it esteem, or comfort of what cannot be seen

I will hold death telling him of what I saw today

you shall beg death to remember of what you once where

So enjoy your time youthful beauty, for it is very short

It is but a flash

Indeed, just a flicker of what the talented will enjoy

Never Hide (A Poem)

Never hide

Im not just angry at you

Im angry at myself

Im not just alone inside

Im scared of the taboo

Of being in love with you

Im not just a white man

Im also a devastated minority

I see you and crave you

I would rock your sedan 

But how can we make a plan?

Its terrify to feel like Im sick

I just can't fight the urges 

they represent my humanity

As odd as they are cryptic 

As scary as society is phobic

So let me put on my lipstick

Let me slip into this gown 

I can't hide beneath this facade  

a women inside, not actually sick

Just burdened by gods cruel trick

So hold me tight and love me

touch me and show me tonight

What it means to be accepted

I wish we could find a way to flee

My male body, this genetic Plea

To be attracted to the wrong side

Is not just a burden but a fear

Just accept me for how I am

I was made this way, I have pride

So know that I shall never Hide 

I will never hide.