“You know I’m not perfect right?” The Pink Floyd clock in the top left corner ticked loudly, as if to say ‘look how little time has passed’ in which I my mind could only reply ‘I know.’
“Why does that need to be said?”
“because I feel like I need to make that clear”
“You’ve made it clear” A moment passed. “You haven’t done anything wrong, why are you saying this?”
“Because I am afraid I will do something wrong and I will forget”
“You mean ‘you’ will forget?”
“No, that I will forget. I forget all the time”
“That sounds a little arrogant don’t you think?”
“No that’s not what I mean” I could feel a sigh escape my lips. I regretted it immediately. “I mean. I’m not sure what I mean but I know I mean something.”
“Okay.”
“I mean that I know I am fallible but that I will treat my mistake as something that I only did, so compared to everyone else it makes it worse cause other people don’t make mistakes. You know what I mean?”
“Honestly I don’t but that’s okay. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Would you forgive me if I did something wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means it depends”
“Depends on what?”
“On what you did wrong, fuck why all the questions?”
“Like what? What wrong could you forgive me for and what couldn’t you forgive me for?”
“Look, I don’t know, it hasn’t happened. It depends, there is like a million things you can do wrong okay? How the fuck should I know right now what is forgivable and what isn’t?”
“But like hypothetically what is something you can’t forgive?”
“Why are you obsessed with this? Let it go I don’t want to talk about it okay?”
“Okay.” The Floyd clock kept ticking.
“How did this conversation come about anyways?”
“I don’t know, I guess it’s been on my mind for a while.”
“Is this your crazy way to tell me you did something wrong.”
“No.” I waited a long bated breath before continuing. “This is my way of saying I will and that when I do I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I will never hate you.”
“You told me once ‘you act as if you disposable in my life’ and you’re right, I do. I feel disposable.”
“So you think I would just get rid of you like that? That’s a little insulting don’t you think?”
“No, not that you think that, but that everyone thinks that.”
“No one thinks that.”
“No, there is. I guess where. I don’t know. Please don’t go.”
