Empathy (Thoughts)

Has empathy become quaint and idealized? As a constant consumer of media, in full disclosure liberal media, I have perceived an important and amazing trend towards the philosophy of inclusion. I will preface by saying that I doubt the rhetoric parallels the reality, but I do believe the rise of the currently inclusionary rhetoric does speak to a possible shift in societal opinion, if not in action. On every podcast, interview, and newscast the issue of societal inclusion has become a vital focal point of discussion, especially noteworthy within the arts, a field in which expression and, most importantly, connection reigns supreme. With that we feel the need that character roles in film, television, and stage productions (to name a few)  are to be played by the adjacent demographic. Example: that disabled characters should be played by disabled actors (under reasonable situations of course), that LGBT characters should be played by LGBT actors, and that all ethnic characters should be played by similarly (if not exact) ethnic actors [I give only a few examples out of the necessity of both space and time for the reader and I]. Do I agree with the above ideal? Absolutely, who better to understand the plight of an LGBT character than an LGBT actor? Who better to understand the difficulties of living with a disability than an actor who has a disability? Who better to understand ethnic nuances than an actor immersed in said environment? Yet, despite the beauty of such an ideal, of such an exclusionary philosophy, perhaps we are losing on another beautiful, if foolishly (?) angelic ideal. Empathy.
   
Empathy is defined as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another” and comes from the greek prefix “em” - in, and the greek word “pathos” - feeling, to create the concept of being “in-feeling,” able to share feeling, and perhaps beyond. So how does our exclusionary philosophy, as found within the rhetorical underpinnings of our society, negatively impact our beliefs in empathy?
   
It is important to note that empathy is a nuanced word that can be construed differently depending on individuals experiences and definitional outlook and so I may very well be arguing a definition you will disagree with, if that is the case it may very well be possible that our currently inclusionary path does not negatively impact our angelic ideal of empathy, but I ask that you hear me out anyways.
   
Our exclusionary philosophy appears to assume a limit to our ability to empathize with our fellow human being. It assumes a man can’t possibly understand what it means to be a woman. I will always take the stance that I cannot understand a woman, someone within the LGBT community, or someone from a different ethnic and cultural background in their totality. Yet I still wish to believe that my imagination and my own shared human experiences, grounded in both practical and emotional knowledge, is enough to allow me to walk in the shoes of that person on an emotional level. Why can’t I, as both a song writer and a dabbler in short fiction, write a well rounded character from a different economic, social, ethnic, cultural, and sexual background? As an artist I crave to connect, to understand and to grasp the lives of others. The moment society unveils me a ceiling, a level of empathy deemed a philosophical impossibility, my fear is that the ceiling does not exist as a reflection of reality but a self imposing restriction, a height we can attain if we only allowed ourselves to attain it. Or perhaps, as I mentioned before, I am but a believer in a foolish and angelic ideal long past its usefulness.

Yesterday (Thoughts)

Yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling somber. Today, today I am also feeling somber. Someone I knew, you could call a long-past friend, was facing a great pain and I was torn. They would feel that great pain tomorrow, today, I don’t know for how long. Yesterday I said hello to an old friend -current acquaintance- funny how things turn out. She was doing so well, happy with her life and how it was moving. Hearing of her life, though it was condensed in just a handful of words, wrought me a moment of joy.  The previously mentioned person, my long-past friend, had caused her great pain not to long ago. It feels as if it was a long time but it wasn’t. What is a long time?
   
On the surface yesterday could be perceived as a textbook example of our westernized and bastardized ideal of “Karma.” Things come back to you, it is only fair. The ones who cause pain should be forced to feel pain, isn’t that how it should be? Yet I felt hollow inside. Yesterday wasn’t a victory against human evil, it was a victory for human pain. On some level I know the pain he is going through, and on another level I don’t. Sure, the similarities are there, but the context is different, the people are different, the histories are different. All I know is that pain is the universal equalizer. What he is feeling yesterday, today, tomorrow, isn’t fair, it isn’t fucking retribution, it is the antithesis of retribution. We often forget, when living in out social microcosms, that pain permeates throughout social connections. To find cosmic justification within a painful event through the past actions of one person, the only one you know to be directly affected, is monstrous, dimwitted and self serving. As such, to a long-past friend, I am sorry for your loss. I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone, not a soul. Pain, it nullifies us all, if for one heart wrenching moment; that body laying in the ICU.
   
So how do we find retribution? Remember that old friend, current acquaintance? She is happy now, enjoying her life and the path she has taken. Her happiness, not her ill will, is the proper retribution. I doubt she has forgotten the pain she felt under his influence, my long-past friend, nor do I know or care if she has forgiven him, but she has let the pain slip from her life, it no longer controls her as it once did. It may not taste as sweet as the revenge we often see in movies, and it very much doesn’t feel “fair” as when pain begets pain, but the world isn’t fair, it isn’t ruled by cosmic balances and cyclical patterns. The only balance we can create (find?) is within ourselves, to search for such balance within the external world would be foolhardy, to ask for comfort in something beyond our control. As a side note let me ask, which one of us truly want such control? To mould the world around us to fit our preconceived notions of balance? I for one believe that to have such control would pollute and corrupt not only my mind and soul but the black beauty which makes the world so appealing (appalling?).

So, to my old friend -current acquaintance - thank you for showing me in a short period of time, the balance found within yourself. I am sure you have shown it before, but I failed to see, and for that I am sorry. I am proud of you, what you have accomplished, and what you will accomplish. To my long-past friend thank you for showing me the humanity that exists within us all. Perhaps because I didn’t give you the chance -perhaps you didn’t deserve that chance- I didn’t get to witness such humanity under more ideal circumstances and for that I am sorry, but know that your pain, as harsh and un-wielding it is, will not beget pleasure from me, nor pain. It begets sympathy, and has taught me a little a-bit about myself.