Two Art Forms (Thoughts)

The cathartic experience of writing stands counterintuitively to the cathartic experience of music. Both art forms represent a holistic role in my life, my psyche and my "happiness." They are, for lack of any originality, the Ying and Yang of my creative existence. Within the continuation of the previous well worn metaphor and reference, both music and writing exist within themselves, the two dots representing the connection between not just the two mediums of creation but all. Music drives my writing. When I write I put on an album and let the emotion funnel through me and unto the page while the well penned phrase of an engaging work of literature drives me to pick my my "Ax" and express the concrete ideals found on the page into a more than conceptual idea through music. Ying and Yang. 

Music is a rejuvenating force that exudes a raw reality that delves deep within my "soul." When I pick up my instrument of choice I am preparing to be struck by a force of electrical magic that brings me to an upright position. My back straightens and my legs feel firm upon the ground. I am encompassed by a confidence which I have been told changes my outward appearance to all around me. I am no longer the shy intellectual filled with assured uncertainty but I am more comfortable with the words I utter, the body I possess and the world I see before me. I know my place when I interact with the grounding power of metal and/or nylon strings strapped unto a wooden and metal musical contraption. It seems odd that such an obtuse and unimposing man-made object can morph a human being as it has morphed not only myself but many others. That transformation becomes an addiction that remains despite it being unveiled before a mirrored reflection in a room or a stadium filled with countless human interactions. It remains with you, and it becomes a part of you, it is not a persona but another truth that is found within, and a truth we have learned to love. 

Writing is a draining and evacuating experience for it leeches from me all the energy and emotion that I possess unto the page. I bleed upon the pages in which I unveil myself. When I hunch over my computer my body becomes frail and unnoticeable as my head slowly lowers closer to the screen of my emotional misfortunate and malignancy. The act of writings feels aligned to that of treating an illness through the metamorphic and semi-impermanent restructuring through destruction of ones body and mind. As the horrific transformation occurs I become witness to the pathetic-ness of my humanity, the wretchedness that delves inside my devilish exterior. The wretchedness fights for control of my nihilistic and feeble consciousness through the tools of depression and the voiding of hopefulness. The only way to set myself free from the pain is to splatter the bloody truths of this daily battle unto the fields of paper that align the cybernetic fabric of our modern 21st century society. The battle fields will almost undoubtedly be lost within the interminable cyber-universe, floating among countless expressive counterparts, a deafening call on the worthlessness of our emotional endeavours. Ones scars are unveiled for all to see and you unveil a horrendous truth that on the surface appears unsalvageable but in reality unveils the powerful ability for human change and growth. Hope and salvation becomes a part of you, and remains with you until the day you have succeeded, or even more likely failed. Either way the transformation is valuable and without it, I would not be the man I am today. 

Silence (Thoughts)

Today I want to write about silence, but as is often the case recently, I am wilfully and abjectly unable to focus coherently. My stream of consciousness flows from argument to counter argument constantly refining and redefining my stance and the nuance of my argument. My thesis statement is simple, that as a society we have less of an appreciation of silence, yet as I try to define silence be through action or lack thereof, I realize my stance is logically and perhaps even artistically inane. Despite the ramblings and twirling of my rational brain my instinctual and "gut" quadrant of my brain is telling me I am on to something. I will delve into my personal relationship with sound, an individually subjective but profound interaction which has had obtuse magnitude on my life. 

I am first and foremost a musician. I try to uncover a poignancy in my writing that rings with the power of a well place harmony. I try to study my fields of study with the concentration of a well versed musical piece and I try to converse in a rhythm pleasant to the ears. I attempt to link music into all facets of my life. I hold weakness in one manner, silence. Music and sound exist from absence,"silence," a term I am appropriating loosely for in reality silence is a concept and never a reality. As a musician they say music is as much about the notes you fail to play as the notes you do. Tempo, timing, and punctuation are the tools of any great musician, conversationist, and provocateur. As such you can see my fascination with our everyday interaction with silence and its impact on society and individual lives. 

Today, as with many days, I listen to podcasts, music, videos, language, conversation, traffic … the list is endless for even now I enjoy the sound of scraping shoes on a tile floor. We are bombarded by sound so we filter, re-filter, enhance, concentrate and consider. Yet I think we have too much sound in our lives, or more importantly, we bombarded ourselves with to much sound for the purposes of enjoyment and stimulation. I am very much guilty of that sin. I am constantly listening to some form of stimulation in hopes to uncover some nugget of enjoyment which can justify an exclamation of eureka.  By doing so I am ignoring the one principle of sound most important, the importance of silence. Indeed it is the lack of stimulation between the resounding stimulations I endure that are most important. The slow consideration of a well sounded point, note, word or phrase is as equally important as the the emitted sound itself. How often do we forget the basic principles that exist within all of our concepts, from the most minute to the largest. Sound and silence are intertwined within themselves as life and death. One does not exist without the other and more importantly one is not as profound and beautiful without the other. We neglect when we forget this relationship.

I cannot say that I will be able to use this line of thinking to introduce greater "silence" into my life for it is difficult. We are wired to search, interact, and explore. Our curiosity has driven our species to some incredible heights yet I fear not our progression but out litter. We will continue down the road towards progress and continue to attain amazing feats of ingenuity along the way, but with a lack of silence we shall also litter the roads with unrealized potential and realizations. Epiphanies shall lay dormant upon the rails of yesterdays experiences and that to me is a tragedy of silent and un-echoed proportions.  

The Changing Nature Of Social Media (Thoughts)

Social media has changed how we, as a society, interact with each other. There are numerous debates on how social media should be used properly, safely, and in a manner which would insure that our lives are enriched. In a perfect world the above goals would be easily attainable and more importantly be implement quickly and efficiently. Sadly our utopian goals are rarely the reality. What makes social media so difficult to adapt to is its ability and necessity to mutate exponentially. For every new tool that is created and appropriated by the social consciousness of the online society there appears to be two similar tools with slight differing nuances, for every Instragram there is a Pinterest and Snapchat, social platforms that hold similar ideas but offer nuanced specifications that allow the app, website, or idea to live within its own cybernetic niche. Everyday the push for greater individualization is driving the software market and changing the face of social media and the online experience. The market is changing faster than we can adapt. 

I will outline my own recent personal experience with the changing phenomenon that is social media. A few weeks ago a personally close friend was jumped and physically beaten for reasons that remain unimportant. My friend was forced to go to the hospital and had to receive numerous stitches to close a substantial gash that existed above his right eyebrow. On the funnier side he now looks a little more like Harry Potter (perhaps it will help him in his romantic endeavours). This is similar to what occurred to myself a handful of years ago (three years ago to be exact) in which I was also beaten up and was forced to receive stitched for a major wound to my bottom lip. There seems to exist only minimal differences between our nefarious experiences, except how we unveiled our wounds to our immediate peers and counterparts. I used to medium of texting and Facebook to inform my immediate social group of what had occurred to me while my friend used the medium of Snapchat, in which one sends a purposefully fleeting and ephemeral picture which than disappears after a set time and can never be seen again. 

So why is this important? Because how we communicated a similar experience was vitally different within a short period of time. Just as importantly we both exist within the same age bracket and social environment. We are both tackling the same major in political science, we both come from middle class families and are both similar in personality and passions. We are a perfect example of a most similar case study, two similar people who have a similar experience but react differently. 

So why did we react differently? clearly it is because we had access to different tools. That is obvious, but what makes it even more interesting is that in a very short period of time, barely 3 years, we had access to intrinsically unique tools. It is undeniable that the landscape of social media has mutated, has adapted, and has modified to changing needs. I received the Snapchat from my friend at 4 in the morning, allowing me to give him sympathetic immediacy that I was unable to enjoy. I had to wait hours before being gifted with the gift of comfortable reassurance from a respected peer or authority figure. My friend was able to access such needs, and with greater visual context, quicker and more frequently. Yet, does that mean we should have such social accessibility? The problem is that when we are tackling with the above issue the technology will become socially obsolete and replaced. Welcome to the twenty first century.